My new "job"...

After being talked into it, I'm working on my own business now. It's called "Events by CAM". I already have a website created for it. http://www.eventsbycam.com and I have an assistant whenever I need her. She's been in the business for YEARS and got out of it and now wants back in. She is a good friend and helped me with my wedding. It's something that I love to do, so, hopefully by word of mouth this will kick off for me. This would be a good way to save up some money for IVF too. I have done my research and my cost are cheap compared to others out there. But unlike them, I'm willing to put in 100% into any event that I will do! Since - that's what I do anyways.

Well, work sucks as usual. Not this past week, but the week prior I worked 62.1 hours. I like getting paid for overtime, but come on now! I just got stuck with timelines that I couldn't keep up with, so, I ended up having to bring work home with me. Ah well, I got the work done and that's all that matters. This past week, I tried to take it a little more relaxed, well, I still worked 52 hours or something like that. So, not as bad, but still a lot.

We had a friend of the family's bridal shower to go to today... That was interesting. I felt SO out of place. I have only met the people a few times and the bride I had only met once before. Eric isn't to happy with the groom, since he wasn't asked to be in the wedding at all. I understand why his feelings are hurt. Espessally finding out today that he has 7 groomsmen and he was one of ours. So, he's trying to get through that. I'm trying to get him through it.

I got this wonderful computer cabinet from craigslist this weekend for only $30! It's really nice, it's got some dings and scratches, but it all works nicely!

So, this coming weekend, after Eric and I get out of work we are heading up to mom's to give her back some of her stuff and give her my old desk. This coming weekend is also the Walleye Festival. Which is a HUGE event for most Freelanders... For me it just means GARAGE SALES! Too bad I won't be up there in the morning to go to them. Oh well, maybe later on we can go around and look.

Well, I should get going to bed. I will update more later. GOODNIGHT!

We have a plan!

After receiving the bad news yesterday...  We sat down to seriously think about what we are going to do.  We have decided that we are going to be very careful how we spend our money now-a-days.  And try our hardest to save as much as possible.  And I have worked out our budget up until we go to North Carolina to watch dad's shop in June.  By then we should (if everything goes as planned) I have it worked out that we would HALF of what is needed for the IVF!  Which is AWESOME!  That would work wonderful, since we don't want to start any of the IVF treatments until after we get back.  And who knows, maybe I can convince daddy dearest to help out some, so, he could have some grandkids in the near future...  But you never know...  We are hoping that some of our family is willing to help us out too.  We will just have to wait and see.

And the answer is in...

So, I called the doc's office and told them I need lab work since I haven't started yet. She said if I were to go in the morning they would know by the afternoon if I was or not. Well, I got the call about 1:45 and they told me my answer... Unfortunately I'm NOT pregnant this cycle. So, after I got the call, I called Eric and told him. We are both shocked with the news. We thought that I was for sure this time. Since I had a lot of the symptoms, but it wasn't enough. Now to try to raise some money... I'm sure they will say IVF will be next. If anything we will just have to wait a year and save until then, unless we can get the money, somehow.

Trying not to go crazy!

So, as you all can guess we had our IUI Saturday (March 21st). I'm now in the two week waiting period. I'm just waiting for the two weeks to pass. Here's the instructions that I was given... If I don't start my period within 14 days of the IUI to call for a blood pregnancy test (which they will fax to the lab of my choice). Then they will call with the results. I'm really trying to think positive about this cycle, but I do have my doubts... BUT.... Then again, I am having some signs that I'm pregnant (it could also be caused from all the hormones in my system).

Symptoms

1. Moody as HELL (the WORST I have ever been).
2. Tired ALL the time.
3. Always hungry or feeling sick and not wanting to eat.
4. Sore nipples!
5. Some Cramping
6. Some Spotting, that's not deep red (it's brownish/pinkish).

I do think that I have a chance, since I haven't started my period, yet. I know in the past I have started my period right after I took a test (10 days past the HCG injection). Tomorrow will be 2 weeks from when I got the shot. This cycle I do feel a lot different than what I have in the past, so, that's a good thing. I did take a test at the 10 day mark, eventhough it was early... It did come up negative though, but it was a CHEAP test and it was EARLY. So, I'm still trying to be patient and wait. I have told myself and Eric that I'm not going to test until Sunday morning, if we don't get a call back on Saturday with the results from the blood work.

It has been a little easy to not think about it though, I have had work to take my mind off of the trying to get pregnant. It's been a mad house at work lately. With the so-called new system, that is from the same decade as the one that died. It's not that much more up to date. If anything it might be worse. We are having SO many problems with it that I might even get hooked up here at home that I can connect remotely from here at home, if something happened after I left work. Wonderful, right? Then, I would either want to be salaried or a pay raise, but is that going to happen - I doubt it. But my evauluation and review is coming up this month. So, I'm going to try to push for one, since I do SO much for them! Oh well, at least I have a job and I can get over time to get more money. I will just log my hours when I'm here at home when I have to work from home.

The policeman's ball is coming up on the 18th of this month. I'm excited about that. I haven't been to that in many years. We have to go out and get Eric a suit coat or a suit period, since he doesn't have one. I figured he needs one since he should wear suits to special events. I have a dress that I got for a new years eve thing, but never wore it. I'm thinking about wearing that, but I haven't decided. I think I'm going to look around while we are looking for Eric's Suit and see if I could find anything cheap. Otherwise I will just wear the back up dress that I have.

Well, I think I have typed enough. Once I know if this IUI was a success I will try to post it asap! Cross your fingers and toes! Even say a little prayer! I so hope everything works out!

It's been FOREVER, I'm sorry!

Talk about major slacking, that's me!  I've been slacking so much lately when it comes to the blog!  I figured since I'm home alone with the animals that this is a good time to write a long blog with out Eric bothering me.  So, in the last blog I wrote that we are not pregnant.  Since then we were told to check out another fertillity doc.  Even though they are in Grand Rapids, but they are HALF of the cost!  So, I checked the website out to get more information about them (www.fertilitycentermi.com) and they have so much information on their website, it's so helpful!  I then checked out other sites that have forums to see if there were good/bad comments about them.  I didn't find anything negative, only positive.  We decided to switch after thinking about it.  And since we have gone there - OMG!  Such a difference from the other doc.  They think much differently than what the other doc did.  So, they had me start on Gonal F and I was on it for a while, actually tonight was the last dose of it for the month.  I have to get my HCG shot tomorrow at work (8am), so, Eric is going to come into the office to give me the shot.  Whoo!  Then, we go for the IUI on Saturday morning.  Then we have to head off to mom's for the rest of the day.  So, I will know 2 weeks after the IUI.  So, cross your fingers!  Cause if this doesn't work, we will have to do IVF, which is roughly around 5,000!  It's not as bad as the other at 10,000, but it's still bad.  It's not like we can just come up with that much money!  Like I have said in the past...  Want to make a donation to the Crystal Hope fund?  

Let's see what else has happened in the past little while that I haven't written a blog...  The computers are still "down".  They have gotten a "new" program, but it's still not working up to par.  We had one test store and there were errors!  Go figure, right?  We will see how quickly they can fix all the problems, if they will even fix them.  I'm sure since the stores will be bitching they will end up having to do something about it.  I did get a new computer though!  So, now I have Windows XP!  It's so much better than my old computer that had the 98!  The only bad thing with the new computer is that I can't do anything anymore!  They now have software that they can watch what I'm doing at anytime OR they can operate my computer from a remote location!  Like I was having problems connecting to my network drive to get to some files.  They logged onto my computer and were messing with the computer through theirs.  It was weird!  So, now I'm SO nervous about doing anything now...  Oh, well.  That just means that I have to work when I'm at work.  HAHA

My mother was in the hospital...  She was sick and had went to Redi-med and got meds, well, after taking the meds for a few days, she got worse.  Come to find out the meds were having a bad reaction with her - body rash, not being able to eat, almost passing out, no strength.  Come to find out after having to be hospitalized for 5 days.  She got admitted after finding out her blood sugar was SO high and they found out that her kidney's were not working propperly.  She's back to her normal self now, so, that's good.  She has even moved into her new place, which we haven't seen yet.

I had my 11 year high school reunion...  I had worked on it for a while and spent some of my cash planning it.  It was a bummer when not that many people showed up for it.  It was a good thing that everyone that showed up for the most part got along.  They were thinking about starting something over the summertime, but I'm not up for that.  I'd go to it, I just don't want to plan something like that since I had put so much time into this one and not getting that much for it.  Oh well, such as life.

We finally got a dishwasher!  It's so nice having a dishwasher and having clean dishes!  I no longer have to dread doing the dishes anymore!  THANK GOD!  I'm so glad that I had one the guys from work install it than spending the extra money that Best Buy was going to charge to install the dishwasher!  

It's been so nice out the past couple of days (besides today, it was kinda chilly) that I have been grilling out for dinner.  That's the best!  Having Steak, BBQ Chicken, Cheeseburgers and Hot dogs though the week has been nice too (not many dishes)...

Well, I will try to keep this blog a little more up to date than what I have been doing lately.  

For those dying to know...

Well, we went to the doc's office to find out that I'm NOT pregnant, but I have cyst's!! The doc said that we could try one more round of IUI, but he feels like IVF would be the next step for us. I feel the same, but the cost for it is $10, 000! We don't know where we are going to come up with the money to get it done. I wish we had the money, but we don't. I just feel like we are hopeless now since IVF is what we should do, but with no cash to do so. We are taking donations for the procedure if you are willing to be so kind and donate some money. We need all the help that we can get. I'm not really in the talking mood at the moment. So, if you need to get ahold of me, send me a text or message.

Thank you everyone for the hopes and prayers. Hopefully next time, whenever that is, will help us then.

I know, I know, I know...

I've been slacking A LOT on the blog. I have so much to update...

Jan 2nd was Eric's birthday. We went out to eat at Red Lobster, where he wanted to go. On that Saturday his sister, Heather and I set up a birthday party thing since he was turning 30! First of all we started at the Mason Bowling Center for bowling and cake. Then afterwards we went to Buddies bar and grill, then since we were kinda getting kicked out of the place we went to Champions bar and spent the rest of the night there. I was a fun night! :-)

I came back to normal after having my ovaries the size of CANTALOUPES! I went back in the 20th of Jan to see how I was doing. Doc was surprised to see that everything was back to normal. I started the clomid and the gonal f injections for this cycle. We then went in to find out that I had 5 MATURE EGGS! Everything is starting to look up now. And I was to get the HCG injection that night and come back on the 4th of Feb for the IUI! We are so excited and hoping that this works! We are now in the waiting period I have to go in on Monday to find out if I'm pregnant or not. I do feel different, but I'm not sure! My boobs are sore, I'm running to the bathroom all the time to piss, I'm more tired than normal and I've had some cramping going on. You never know, I might be pregnant, than again, maybe it didn't take.

Work has been nuts for the past 2 weeks. We are used to running AS/400 (a 20-30 year old program), but 2 weeks ago, that DIED! So, we have been doing everything by hand. I tell you - it's hard and stressful! But I think it's starting to come around. I guess we are going with another system called RAMS. I don't know what the hell that is. I have never of heard of it. I can't really find anything on it. UGGG!!! Oh well, I guess we all will be learning the system together. Yippie - until then I get to have paper pile up everywhere. By the way, my company is killing FORESTS now! We are going through SO much paper!!!

Well, I should be going for now, I don't want to bore you. :-)